Others

One thing that is interesting as I read blogs and just generally in life is how terrifying what other people think can be. Mostly strangers. Why does this matter so much to us? And I am definitely in this category. When I first decided to ride the bus, I felt so stupid as if everyone watching me knew I had no idea what I was doing. I also hate trying new exercise equipment in front of other people, because I know I don't know what I'm doing.

Why?

It bothers me when this amorphous fear of others' opinions stifles me or makes me act differently--and when this happens to others. I never want to limit myself solely because of what other people might think, whether those people are strangers or family. I want to base my decisions and actions on my desires, needs, and reasoning, not on social pressure to conform.

So when I am anxious about trying something new, while I am doing it I remind myself: no one is watching me, there is not a perfect standard of how to do X, I have plenty of reasons for wanting to X that I can justify, people who know how to do things better than I do are generally helpful, mean people are usually insecure, groups generally want new people to show up, everyone had to start somewhere, etc. Of course, after I've done X a couple of times I forget why it was such a big deal in the first place.

Generally, I'm pretty good about trying news things and meeting new people. I have tons of anxiety about it, but I do it anyway. Mean Monkey laughs at me, because it's such a pattern of deciding to do X, fretting over it for a couple of weeks, and then doing it and loving it to pieces. I wish more people would be open to trying new things and saying to hell with the critics!