Authenticity
Several things seem to all have come together in the past few days that have sparked some thoughts for me. The latest is Annarella's comment on my Stuck post, where she says that she's met more people recently that think like her than she has in a while (I'm assuming she's talking about people online). Another comment was on Renee's site about her focusing on being "to be the real me, no matter what" and some of her other posts about cutting her hair. The final thought-provoking post was at Mia's which is like Annarella's--in her words, "The Internets are magical, because I don't think I've met four people in 10 years that I would call "friend" from the Real World, and here I am, 4 for 4, from blogging. . . "
I think all of these posts show that blogs create a space where people can be their authentic selves or even just practice being their authentic selves. The anonymity somehow limits the fear of rejection or the sting of criticism. In response to this vulnerability that comes from being yourself and all of who you really are--the good, bad, ugly, and magnificant--there is often an outpouring of support and affirmation. Blogging experience can show us that our authentic selves--the ones that are able to talk about our fears and problems and strip away all the excess and facade--are acceptable, likable, and they draw people to us. We are good enough, foibles, fears and all.
However, I do think there's a danger in blogging. When I was drafting this post, an image sprang to my mind and I think it's appropriate. One year, I decided to start peppers from seeds indoors for my garden. I had a little box and peat pots and whatever. The seeds mostly sprouted, and my parents reminded me to set them outside a little bit at a time so that they could harden off and get used to the outdoors. I ignored them because I was a little too busy/lazy and within a week or so, the seedlings wilted without ever being outdoors.
I worry about our authentic selves being like those seedlings. The blogosphere is like a little hothouse where we are protected by anonymity, supportive communities of like-minded people, editorial control, etc. It can be a place were we gather the inital strength to inhabit our offline lives more fully. But then the next step needs to take place, the hardening off. Exposing our nutured authentic selves to the offline world, little bits at a time, to become ready to take their place off-line and fulfill their purpose. This is a risk, but a necessary one.
In my own life, the only person who sees the authentic me, such that it is, is Mean Monkey. As it should be, I guess. My mother would be a very close second, but we differ enough politically and theologically that there is somewhat of a divide. When I think of having an authentic life, I think of living in a way that I can be the person that I am with Mean Monkey and my mother at all times in my personal life. Unafraid of judgment, willing to share, to listen, and to understand--to be myself and to know that this is enough.
I think all of these posts show that blogs create a space where people can be their authentic selves or even just practice being their authentic selves. The anonymity somehow limits the fear of rejection or the sting of criticism. In response to this vulnerability that comes from being yourself and all of who you really are--the good, bad, ugly, and magnificant--there is often an outpouring of support and affirmation. Blogging experience can show us that our authentic selves--the ones that are able to talk about our fears and problems and strip away all the excess and facade--are acceptable, likable, and they draw people to us. We are good enough, foibles, fears and all.
However, I do think there's a danger in blogging. When I was drafting this post, an image sprang to my mind and I think it's appropriate. One year, I decided to start peppers from seeds indoors for my garden. I had a little box and peat pots and whatever. The seeds mostly sprouted, and my parents reminded me to set them outside a little bit at a time so that they could harden off and get used to the outdoors. I ignored them because I was a little too busy/lazy and within a week or so, the seedlings wilted without ever being outdoors.
I worry about our authentic selves being like those seedlings. The blogosphere is like a little hothouse where we are protected by anonymity, supportive communities of like-minded people, editorial control, etc. It can be a place were we gather the inital strength to inhabit our offline lives more fully. But then the next step needs to take place, the hardening off. Exposing our nutured authentic selves to the offline world, little bits at a time, to become ready to take their place off-line and fulfill their purpose. This is a risk, but a necessary one.
In my own life, the only person who sees the authentic me, such that it is, is Mean Monkey. As it should be, I guess. My mother would be a very close second, but we differ enough politically and theologically that there is somewhat of a divide. When I think of having an authentic life, I think of living in a way that I can be the person that I am with Mean Monkey and my mother at all times in my personal life. Unafraid of judgment, willing to share, to listen, and to understand--to be myself and to know that this is enough.
posted by Tiffany @ 11:14 AM
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